Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
