Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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