I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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