conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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