I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
