Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
