before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
