its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
