1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
