im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
