i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize