I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
