I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
