Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
