I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
