nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
