Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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