Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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