turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
high people should be assigned attendants
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
