You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he thought i was a dude.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
