it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
