Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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