I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
