I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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