I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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