Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
