Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
