i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
