Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
