dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I could fuck to npr.
Panties = found
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
