My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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