I'm really into asian looking animals
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
this just has baby written all over it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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