everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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