I intend to get homeless drunk
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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