Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
