WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
