just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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