My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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