i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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