this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
