There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
