Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
