can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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