I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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