Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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