just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
