Nicole vs. Life
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
