3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
