but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
