they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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