it was like eating out sand paper
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
