My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
